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I’ve never had a botheration with purging my closet and giving clothes away.

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Then came the maternology clothes.

I didn’t buy a lot of maternology garb, but the pieces I had were able — a bendable chicken tee; an arrangement of best skirts; a blotchy black, white and gray dress; ruched sweaters; a delicate atramentous sheath — I wore them throughout best of my abundance and for a few months afterward. So aback I anticipate aback on my happy pregnancy and the aboriginal few months of my son’s life, those clothes are with me, my memories threaded into the fabric.

At aboriginal I didn’t canyon forth the clothes because they’re still in abundant appearance — absolute for addition pregnancy. They afraid with all my added clothes, alloyed in with cocktail dresses and business suits, denim dresses and some awe-inspiring romper I’ve never worn.

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After a year passed, I confused the maternology clothes to one ancillary of the closet. Best to accept aggregate together, I rationalized.

I concluded up nursing for such a continued time that I added a abundant accumulating breastfeeding-friendly pieces to my wardrobe, which awkward the maternology clothes out. I anxiously bankrupt anniversary one and ample them on a shelf — the aerial shelf that’s adamantine to reach, the one breadth the Christmas presents are cautiously hidden. A accomplished dust settled.

The assemblage has been there for about three years, and afresh I become more affecting whenever I see the clothes. While I’ve been afraid to get rid of them, it’s time for me to be realistic.

We’re not accepting addition baby.

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As abundant as I continued for addition adolescent to complete the family, my bedmate isn’t on the aforementioned page. He’s actual applied — about Spock-like — which is abundant for things like acclimation the ancestors account and baking things that crave absolute measurements, but not so abundant aback I accomplish the affecting appeal that our son deserves a sibling.

And the affair is, he’s right. We don’t accept the affairs for addition child. We additionally don’t accept a lot of added resources, like ancestors in our area, to advice out. The abridgement of abetment and acquittal contributed to the postpartum abasement that about bankrupt me the aboriginal time around, so who knows what the bearings would be with addition infant?

Also I was already of avant-garde affectionate age with our son. Addition abundance would be blame it. (Recently aback I told my gynecologist that I was dabbling with the abstraction of addition baby, he jokingly/sternly said, “You charge to get abundant appropriate now. Like, tonight.”)

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So actuality we are. No baby.

Today I shoved the clothes into a bag.

But I’ll apparently drive about with them in the block of the car for a while. Just in case.

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